July, 2025

Do you ever find an image you heavily relate to, but no one would really understand why?

I found this image yesterday night and it has had me in a chokehold since. Source: Gothic & Lolita Bible 5, 2002

Maybe I'm going crazy... ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

Thinking back, I'm not really sure if I ever liked the idea of making myself new year's resolutions. They always appeared obsolete or something which I would eventually give up on. Coming into this year, none of my hobbies changed, nor my music taste, or even my style. I think people always tend to associate new years with a "new me!" and change. And though that may be true - and maybe I have changed as the years have gone on, I still feel like the same 15 year old who was enamoured with alt styles and hobbies. I'm definitely still unsure how to navigate my own confidence in terms of wearing what I want to wear on a day-to-day basis, but I'm also comfortable with accepting that not being as confident as others is okay and something which comes with time.

If I were to make any new year's resolutions, I'd say maybe it would be to continue having fun. I'm always afraid that with fashion, it will whittle down to being a phase. I really sincerely hope that is not the case with EGL, it is such a passion of mine (as it is for sooo many people) and I truly do not see myself leaving it.

But at the end of the day, I don't really think that could be an option. It's always going to be there in the sidelines. I remember my first ever obsession (alongside anime lol) was Alice in Wonderland. I would fawn over Alice's vintage style, the Cheshire Cat, tea, biscuits and garden motifs. That was then slowly followed by steampunk - which I feel gets very overshadowed when people talk about what made them get into lolita.

I wanted this manga remake sooo badly when I was a teen =w=

Either way, this fashion has left such a lasting impact on me. I sometimes cannot see myself being separated from it one way or another. That's not to say it entirely consumes me; I do try to leave room for other hobbies in my life. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if I had never been re-introduced to EGL. Would I have found it eventually on my own? Who knows. To say I wouldn't have gotten into lolita if it weren't for circumstances seems like an overstatement. Perhaps, it was always there.

Either way, I am grateful for the community and oodles of tea party rendezvous it has given me. And I sincerely cannot wait for how my journey in this hobby unravels.

On another note - I recieved this headdress from the shop distant melody before the year ended. I feel it may be one of my more favourite headpieces now, it is stunning. I'm hoping that I'll wear it a lot! Please do not mind my messy hair on the right, I had just come back from work; tired, but excited to try on the horns hehehe (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑)